I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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