OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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