There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
