I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Fuck appropriateness.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize