Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Mom said you looked used
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
