honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
