oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I want a musical about memes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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