Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
