You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
