Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
