Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
