...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
