Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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