i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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