This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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