so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize