i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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