We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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