Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
