Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
