Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
