you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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