at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
