Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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