Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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