Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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