You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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