Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
