why didn't you poke me back
look no pants
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
