4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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