this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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