I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
