Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize