I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That's when you crack a 10am beer
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
is that a dick in a sweater?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
