Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
