Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
well you can't waste a boner
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
