We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
