And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
