Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
