Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
