my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
