I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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