It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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