I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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