Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
