That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
