Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she told me i tasted like america
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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