We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I party with great urgency now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
