by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I want a musical about memes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
