idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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