True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
