am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Please don't give away my fajitas
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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