Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
