I wanna bring you to show and tell
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
