I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
