I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize