is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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